The first day at day care is a big one for all concerned mum, child and carer. It is exciting and terrifying at the same time. Here are a few tips on how best to prepare all of you for the big day and help make that transition a smooth one.

Mom - Start gently preparing your child in advance, mentioning what a great adventure day care will be with lots of friends and games. Keep it low key though do not overdo it as this could overwhelm your child. Provider - You could provide mom with the first names of children and carers at the day care and suggest role playing with dolls so everything is not completely strange on that first day.

Mom should begin some of the day care routines with the child in the weeks preceding and encourage independence by arranging visits to friends. The provider should insist that mom and child pay numerous visits to the day care in the weeks before the first day so all is not completely strange.

Mom, try and have everything packed and labeled the night before (change of clothes, comfort toys, snacks) and all administrative tasks i.e. payment, forms etc taken care of so you can focus on your child. Have a fun breakfast and chat enthusiastically about the adventure ahead. Providers should have an extra staff member on hand to help with the settling in.

Allow the child to help pack his bag and carry it. When you arrive at the day care walk your child in holding his hand, do not carry him. Providers should insist on this therefore avoiding the peeling child off the parent scenario.

All day cares should have a settling in period where the child will stay for gradually longer periods of time. Facilitate the moms so they can be around but discourage too much mom involvement. This is where mom needs to take a back seat and observe rather than interact. Provide one on one support for the child. He may just want to sit and observe for a while eventually venturing into a group to participate or play alone with a toy. Let him go at his own pace. When mom leaves, distract him immediately by ushering him off to some exciting activity.

Settling in is the time for mom to be there but not be there... Mom should be in the background providing fairly silent support. Allow your child to absorb his new surroundings. Gauge his reactions by stepping out of the room momentarily, explain that you are making a phone call and are just in the hall. Eventually, you will sit in your car or get a coffee as your child settles down. When that time comes say, bye mom will see you later, positively with a quick kiss and leave the room. If your child cries do not look back. They will be distracted and will stop crying shortly.

This drop off and settling in routine is crucial and should be in place from day one. The communication and understanding between parents and providers will ensure an enjoyable transition for both child and mom. Now, moms can relax for a few hours and providers can enjoy the new little character in their day care!!