Sometimes I make suggestions, comments or just plain have a rant on a day care providers discussion forum. Recently, I read a post about a child who was deliberately damaging day care property, everything from toys, to day care furniture and including personal items belonging to the provider. Parental responses have been confined to nervous laughs, half hearted chastening of the little boy followed by 'meaningful' apologies from the child but no serious discussion nor offer of reparation. The provider is pretty distraught at this point. Over $200 worth of property has been destroyed by the child to date. Unfortunately, dealing with difficult behavior can be a staple of day care life and can lead to some unpleasant situations.

Difficult and challenging behaviors can be a tough fact of day care life. A firm and consistent approach is vital in dealing with same regardless what the reasons for the behavior. When it becomes clear that a child is being continuously disruptive, destructive and aggresive it is time to 'meet the parents'. Parent and provider working together is key to dealing with challenging behavior successfully.

Discovering root causes and triggers for the behavior through discussion can help all involved better understand the child and his actions both at home and at day care. A mutual behavior plan should be agreed whereby all parties are cooperating and on the same page. It is vital that consistent and constructive handling of the child be carried out by both parents and provider.

Individual plans can be formulated using your behavior policy as an outline (please tell me you have a behavior policy!). Ensure that you put in place a time frame for implementation and a deadline for reevaluation. This might also be a good time to revise your parent contract to include when parents will be expected to reimburse you for excessive damage caused by their child.

Insert also your 'end of tether' clause where you would be forced to ask a client to withdraw their child due to ongoing issues and lack of cooperation/communication. Requesting professional help may sometimes be necessary and does not indicate failure on the part of either party- sometimes it is the only, constructive way forward.