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[Trading Psychology] Self-sabotage

In the first couple messages in this series, we’ve looked at behavior-specific challenges and two different aspects of the issue.  You can read them here and here

In the most recent message in this series, we looked at a specific aspect of what’s going on when the problem isn’t just one thing

Today, we’re going to look at another possibility when it’s not just one specific behavior and what you can do about it

Sometimes when you’re stuck, it’s because you have a conflict between your subconscious beliefs, filters & fears and your conscious desires & goals

You may have the conscious goals of

  • trading well, making $5,000 to $10,000 a week or a month with your trading
  • finally quitting your day job or your practice
  • traveling the world and trading as you go, just because you can
  • retiring and enjoying a pleasant and comfortable lifestyle
  • building up a nice sum to pass on to your children and other heirs
  • being able to give substantially to your church or a worthy cause

And at the same time have certain beliefs, filters or fears that conflict with those conscious goals

These can be either entirely or largely subconscious, in that you don’t consciously think about them, but they’re there

These might include such things as:

  • as an activity, your trading doesn’t provide value to anyone like a service or product would, so there’s almost an unethical feel to it if you were to make a lot of money from it.  In other words, since there’s no value-exchange, in some ways it’s like you’re taking a cheater’s path to becoming wealthy
  • because you’re struggled for so long and your confidence has been beaten down so severely, you somehow don’t deserve massive success in your trading
  • while you’re okay with people at the same socioeconomic level as you presently and maybe a next level or two up, you’ve still got some jealously toward those that are really doing well, and an animosity and feeling that they’ve gotten to the top via unethical means.  Being a good person, a part of you wants to remain distant from that higher level so that you don’t get judged the same way, or worse yet, get corrupted
  • you came from a family of modest means, and to significantly surpass what’s been established as the “norm” for the family would almost be a betrayal of sorts and you don’t want to be ostracized or again, judged
  • you would feel a certain amount of guilt if you were to “outshine” those in your family, especially your parents, and especially if you didn’t have to work incredibly hard to gain any significant wealth (let’s face it, trading is about leveraging one’s time and money rather than trading time for it)
  • for some reason, perhaps something a parent, sibling or friend said along the way, you simply aren’t worthy of achieving substantial success.  You deserve a ‘decent’ life, but nothing more because there is simply something inherently ‘wrong’ with you

In situations where your subconscious beliefs, fears or filters are keeping you at your current level and / or knock you down when you start to get ahead, that can be the result of your subconscious taking action to ensure that your circumstances (your level of success) match what it feels to be true, whether rational or well-founded or not.

The Belief Review is an exercise you can do today to bring these subconscious matters to your conscious awareness.  Follow these steps

  1. List out your current goals and desires
  2. One goal at a time, write the goal and then look at the situation from these three perspectives:
    1. When you see someone else having that thing or experience, what thoughts come to mind about them?  Is there jealousy?  Envy?  Do you feel a bit judgemental? Describe the thoughts or feelings that come to mind.
    2. When you picture yourself having that thing or experience, does it feel “right” and appropriate for you?  Describe the thoughts or feelings that come to mind.
    3. When you picture yourself having that thing or experience, what comments or thoughts do you think are going through the minds of others looking at you?  Are they being critical of you? Do they think you must be some sort of ‘bad person’ to achieve such success? Describe the thoughts or feelings that come to mind.
  3. Now review the thoughts and feelings that you listed out.  These are often your true beliefs, what you think on a subconscious level
  4. Note any that are in conflict with you achieving your goals and create specific affirmations that are aligned with your goals.
  5. Take time every day to repeat these affirmations several times.  Early and late in the day are good times to do this.

In the next part of this series, we’ll look at another reason traders sabotage their own success and remain stuck, often for years.

Cheers

Brian McAboy

Trading Coach

P.S.  Would you like to get a free trading book and help me re-write it?

Back in 2006 I wrote a book for beginning traders, and a lot has changed since then.  I’m looking to update that book and make it more relevant to today, since so much has changed.

I’d love to hear your feedback on the book and what you feel would make it a really solid and truly helpful book for sincere traders.

If you’re game, simply reply to this email and I’ll send you an electronic copy of the book to review and comment on.